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“God hath given you one face, and you make yourselves another”

- William Shakespeare, Hamlet (c.1599)

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Dr. Pibb’ (Lyrics: Karl Steiger. Music: Karl Steiger.) Copyright Control. All rights reserved. Lyrics reproduced here with permission.

Click here to purchase a copy of Rat Candy by The Malfated.

Dr. Pibb went online 1st December 2006, via myspace.com. Listen to Dr. Pibb at http://www.myspace.com/themalfated right now.

DR. PIBB

Welcome, one and all, to the amazing Dr. Pibb’s

He’ll make a penis from a buttock and a woman from a rib

And if you’ve lost your follicles and wish that you were dead

He’ll take hairs from your testicles and sew them on your head

Welcome, one and all, to the astounding Dr. Pibb’s

He’ll convince you that you need to change, he’s really rather glib

He’ll nip and tuck and fold and turn you into someone else ,

But rest assured the Doctor’s had no surgery himself

He turns your fingers into toes

How he does it, no one knows

Just close your eyes and strike a pose

While Dr. Pibb works on your nose...

Welcome, one and all, to the impressive Dr. Pibb’s

He’ll reach inside his leather bag, it’s always full of tricks

He’ll give you a tummy tuck so all the boys will want to fuck,

And he’ll give you an anal bleach, so all the boys will want your peach...

Welcome, one and all, to the breathtaking Dr. Pibb’s

He disarms you with a smile as he fills your head with fibs

You’ll have to take off all your clothes so he can touch your breasts ,

He’ll carve away a pound of flesh so you can look your best

He’ll offer you a pinch of hope

He’ll turn your body fat to soap

Just close your eyes and strike a pose

While Dr. Pibb takes off your clothes...

Beware, my son, the crooked surgeon

He’ll cut you like a piece of sturgeon

He’ll turn you back into a virgin ,

You’ll wonder what he’s really purging...

He’ll pummel ‘til you’re black and blue

He’ll turn your thighs to yellow goo

He’ll leave you with a scar or ‘two’

You won’t be able to talk or chew...

A burn victim turned up today

But she could not afford to pay

Yet Dr. Pibb, he would not sway

So Dr. Pibb turned her away...

To read lyrics to other songs by The Malfated please click here.

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